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Sidekicks Don't Kiss
Episode Twenty-nine, Season Three

Original air date: 9/28/1996
Sidekicks Don't Kiss

This episode would only get about 2 stars if not for the fact that it introduces one of my favorite characters; Speak!

The episode focuses on a group of Aztecs, in this case the Deerfield Aztec baseball team. They were on their way to the international finals when their plane crashed in Mexico, and they decided to live like real Aztecs. Of course, they were missing their star shortstop; Carmalita. Wally, the leader of the Aztecs, decides to kidnap Carmalita to marry her and complete the team.

Unfortunately, the Aztecs get Arthur by mistake, and The Tick and Carmalita have to travel to Mexico to rescue him. I suppose the banter between Tick and Carmalita about sidekickery would have been funny if I liked Carmalita.

Halloween Arthur!

Arthur gets X-rayed at the airport

The Tick meets Speak

The Tick meets Speak (in midair)

Then, after endlessly annoying "Itlan" jokes, the savior of the show arrives; Speak! Speak is chosen by the Aztecs to marry Arthur as they consider Speak to be the lowest form of life in the jungle. Speak is launched into the Tick, who then falls out of his plane and plummets to the Earth. A delirious Tick then has a brief conversation with Speak, who is really quite articulate. Speak rules!

This episode features these Superheroes:
The Tick
, Arthur, Sewer Urchin, Die Fledermaus, Carmalita, Courderoy Cordova, and Speak.

This episode features these Supervillains:
Wally and the Aztecs


The Tick:
The Aztecs stole my sidekick!
Y you're so…you're so…Not Arthur!!! You dress like Arthur…oh yeah! You're soft like Arthur…but you curve in all the wrong places!
I'll call you Speak…because that's what you do.
Sun worshipping dog launchers…you face the Tick! and his dog…Speak!
Boulder Hazard!
Snake Hazard!
And what have we learned about Aztecs? Well, nothing, really…

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© 2002 Michael Legg unless specifically noted.
All Tick images are owned by New England Comics, Fox, and Ben Edlund