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Coach Fussell's Lament
Episode Seventeen, Season Two

Original air date: 9/30/1995
Coach Fussell's Lament

This is the second episode to feature Charles, The Brainchild. Charles is a creepy little evil goon who uses his vast intelligence to further the cause of Evil, and in this episode he uses his remote controlled Nanny-of-the-Apocalypse to kidnap The Tick. He then turns The Tick into a two-headed bird that can only speak in high-school French, and hilarity ensues...

Brainchild decides to auction the TickBird off to the highest bidder, and a great villain gathering ensues. Using their stunning powers of disguise, Die Fledermaus (The Rake) and Sewer Urchin (Bucket Head) infiltrate the gathering and stall long enough for American Maid and Arthur to save the day.

The Rake and Buckethead

New Supervillains The Rake and Buckethead

Doublemint Tick!

Two heads are definitely not better than one!

There are many unique moments in this episode that are all hilarious; like the appearance (and inflammation) of the Mousemobile (complete with 8-track), The Tick laying an egg, and The Terror lecturing Charles on how evil was when he was a boy...

This episode features these Superheroes:
The Tick, Arthur, Die Fledermaus, Sewer Urchin, and American Maid.

This episode features these Supervillains:
Charles (The Brainchild)
, The Mad Nanny (Meriam Brunch), Chairface Chippendale, The Terror, The Idea Men, Professor Cromedome, and Pineapple Pokopo. Not appearing but strongly implied was El Seed.


The Tick:

You're saying we have to find the fiend before we can use the fiend finder? What a ripoff!
Mad Nanny! If you harm a hair on this greasy spoon's head you'll have The Tick to answer to!
Lady…you just toasted the best BLT joint in the tri-state area; prepare to pick up the tab!
Iron Maiden! Don't make me…
Archenemy? You must be joking, Charles. I mean I don't like you and everyhting, but if I ever do have an archenemy it's not going to be some creepy little brat with a glass head!
You know, Charles, sometimes when I'm feeling like a raging dingdong, I find a nice camomile tea!
Oh, a shrinking ray! Never seen that before!
Your fun is finished, viscious little dweeb!
Evil has been rousted and the babysitter's been paid! Come heroes, our work here is done. You know, even though today was the worst day of my life, I learned many things. First, the world looks a lot different when you're six inches tall and covered with feathers. Second, two heads are definitely not better than one! And finally, you can lay an egg and still feel like a man!

Un bebe!

Un Bebe!

Charles (The Brainchild):
So at last, The Tick, my archenemy sits is helpless before me!
Normal? Who ever got anywhere by being normal?
You remember Skippy? guess what…I had him fixed!

Die Fledermaus:
Of course the Mousemobile comes loaded with options; electric windows, 8 track, and cassette.
Strap in sweetie, this mouse is about to roar!
I wonder how much the Tick is worth in the open market?
Two Million Dollars and Four dollars!

The Terror:
Well, I don't know, when I was your age, kid, we didn't have all this high-tech hocus pocus; see, if you were really evil, you'd just walk up to a guy and smack 'em in the head!

American Maid:
Field Mouse!

Sewer Urchin:
Unload Die Fledermaus; yeah; very funny!

Brainchild's Mother:
You're not really misunderstood at all, are you Charles?

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© 2002 Michael Legg unless specifically noted.
All Tick images are owned by New England Comics, Fox, and Ben Edlund