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Coach
Fussell's Lament
Episode Seventeen, Season Two
   
Original
air date: 9/30/1995
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Coach
Fussell's Lament
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This
is the second episode to feature Charles,
The Brainchild. Charles is a creepy little evil goon who uses
his vast intelligence to further the cause of Evil, and in this
episode he uses his remote controlled Nanny-of-the-Apocalypse
to kidnap The Tick. He
then turns The Tick into a two-headed bird that can only speak
in high-school French, and hilarity ensues...
Brainchild
decides to auction the TickBird off to the highest bidder, and
a great villain gathering ensues. Using their stunning powers
of disguise, Die Fledermaus
(The Rake) and Sewer Urchin
(Bucket Head) infiltrate the gathering and stall long enough
for American Maid and
Arthur to save the day.
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New
Supervillains The Rake and Buckethead
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Two
heads are definitely not better than one!
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There
are many unique moments in this episode that are all hilarious;
like the appearance (and inflammation) of the Mousemobile (complete
with 8-track), The Tick laying an egg, and The
Terror lecturing Charles on how evil was when he was a boy...
This
episode features these Superheroes:
The Tick, Arthur,
Die Fledermaus, Sewer
Urchin, and American
Maid.
This
episode features these Supervillains:
Charles (The Brainchild) , The
Mad Nanny (Meriam Brunch), Chairface
Chippendale, The Terror,
The Idea Men, Professor
Cromedome, and Pineapple
Pokopo. Not appearing but strongly implied was El
Seed.
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Tickisms
The
Tick:
You're
saying we have to find the fiend before we can use the fiend finder?
What a ripoff!
Mad Nanny! If you harm a hair on this greasy spoon's head you'll
have The Tick to answer to!
Lady…you just toasted the best BLT joint in the tri-state area;
prepare to pick up the tab!
Iron Maiden! Don't make me…
Archenemy? You must be joking, Charles. I mean I don't like you
and everyhting, but if I ever do have an archenemy it's not going
to be some creepy little brat with a glass head!
You know, Charles, sometimes when I'm feeling like a raging dingdong,
I find a nice camomile tea!
Oh, a shrinking ray! Never seen that before!
Your fun is finished, viscious little dweeb!
Evil
has been rousted and the babysitter's been paid! Come heroes,
our work here is done. You know, even though today was the worst
day of my life, I learned many things. First, the world looks
a lot different when you're six inches tall and covered with feathers.
Second, two heads are definitely not better than one! And finally,
you can lay an egg and still feel like a man!
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Un
Bebe!
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Charles
(The Brainchild):
So
at last, The Tick, my archenemy sits is helpless before me!
Normal? Who ever got anywhere by being normal?
You remember Skippy? guess what…I had him fixed!
Die
Fledermaus:
Of
course the Mousemobile comes loaded with options; electric windows,
8 track, and cassette.
Strap in sweetie, this mouse is about to roar!
I wonder how much the Tick is worth in the open market?
Two Million Dollars and Four dollars!
The
Terror:
Well,
I don't know, when I was your age, kid, we didn't have all this
high-tech hocus pocus; see, if you were really evil, you'd just
walk up to a guy and smack 'em in the head!
American
Maid:
Field
Mouse!
Sewer
Urchin:
Unload
Die Fledermaus; yeah; very funny!
Brainchild's
Mother:
You're
not really misunderstood at all, are you Charles?
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